found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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