well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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