the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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