Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
