Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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