when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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