Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
