Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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