So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
