I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
