I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did angry sex become our thing?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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