i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize