yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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