I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
