I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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