Non-Jews are for practice
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
