Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
