He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
