the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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