why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
