i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
