Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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