bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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