I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
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I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
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Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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