If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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