Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
