I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
