so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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