...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
