i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
