I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
