I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
