Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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