Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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