nutella sex= disaster
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
