Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
