used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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