I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
