She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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