i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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