also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing