I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.