Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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