They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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