As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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