he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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