Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I smell like Dick and happiness
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
