she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
