i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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