We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
