those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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