I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
