We named our party play list daddy issues
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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