Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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