You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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