Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil

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  (916): You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil http://tfl.nu/tid3
  Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (480)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.

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  (504): She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise. http://tfl.nu/2rjq
  Replies (27) Good night (903) Bad night (2873)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.

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  (615): just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here. http://tfl.nu/npdf
  Replies (19) Good night (902) Bad night (4594)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".

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  (508): He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely". http://tfl.nu/dfux
  Replies (19) Good night (4237) Bad night (1317)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  As in ill only blow him next week

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  (403): I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow (403): As in ill only blow him next week http://tfl.nu/dd9t
  Replies (14) Good night (3124) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.

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  (909): He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult. http://tfl.nu/s4nn
  Replies (8) Good night (2899) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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  (573): You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up. (816): Sorry about that. Except for the cookies. http://tfl.nu/ub9m
  Replies (6) Good night (3064) Bad night (732)
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  (951): View more from California

  We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.

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  (951): We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question. http://tfl.nu/23so
  Replies (13) Good night (1893) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?

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  (361): Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive? http://tfl.nu/y06z
  Replies (5) Good night (1785) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.

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  (704): And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control. http://tfl.nu/cnqj
  Replies (18) Good night (2299) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.

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  (210): Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it. http://tfl.nu/gvf3
  Replies (8) Good night (580) Bad night (1129)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.

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  (440): Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great. http://tfl.nu/fk00
  Replies (15) Good night (383) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION

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  (610): IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION http://tfl.nu/utlo
  Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (298)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.

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  (843): Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/5mts
  Replies (5) Good night (307) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands

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  (440): If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands http://tfl.nu/oo81
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (225)

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