Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.

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(770): Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock. http://tfl.nu/ip50

Replies (16) Good night (4209) Bad night (821)
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(716): View more from New York

An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready

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(716): An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready http://tfl.nu/od5a

Replies (21) Good night (4443) Bad night (1277)
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(907): View more from Alaska

My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.

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(907): My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you. http://tfl.nu/6oks

Replies (11) Good night (3346) Bad night (945)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?

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(267): how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch? http://tfl.nu/7fe5

Replies (16) Good night (5142) Bad night (1158)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?

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(256): Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background? http://tfl.nu/fohx

Replies (6) Good night (1191) Bad night (2340)
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(972): View more from Texas

I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed

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(972): I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed http://tfl.nu/xlf6

Replies (8) Good night (3843) Bad night (1106)
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(940): View more from Texas

I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.

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(940): I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again. http://tfl.nu/j6me

Replies (7) Good night (886) Bad night (2267)
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(571): View more from Virginia

we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.

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(571): we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music. http://tfl.nu/kygq

Replies (8) Good night (2726) Bad night (985)
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(214): View more from Texas

The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become

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(214): The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become http://tfl.nu/8je0

Replies (6) Good night (2938) Bad night (1095)
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(239): View more from Florida

He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.

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(239): He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish. http://tfl.nu/b945

Replies (33) Good night (1100) Bad night (1922)
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(480): View more from Arizona

got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University

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(480): got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University http://tfl.nu/6mss

Replies (8) Good night (1704) Bad night (509)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.

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(417): Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you. http://tfl.nu/mj9e

Replies (11) Good night (1034) Bad night (783)
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(914): View more from New York

Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator

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(914): Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator http://tfl.nu/9f4r

Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (366)
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(530): View more from California

I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.

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(530): I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone. http://tfl.nu/lhn9

Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (569)
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(972): View more from Texas

On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia

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(972): On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia http://tfl.nu/s5pu

Replies (6) Good night (290) Bad night (931)

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