Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Cold hands, warm shart.

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  (248): Cold hands, warm shart. http://tfl.nu/a5c8
  Replies (3) Good night (1099) Bad night (3421)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.

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  (248): I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard. http://tfl.nu/wcz2
  Replies (2) Good night (1312) Bad night (461)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.

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  (480): So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that. http://tfl.nu/bec0
  Replies (12) Good night (1097) Bad night (2267)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.

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  (506): A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously. http://tfl.nu/nor0
  Replies (43) Good night (1277) Bad night (5589)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."

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  (248): Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching." http://tfl.nu/eoit
  Replies (59) Good night (996) Bad night (3220)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you

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  (203): we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint (203): i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you http://tfl.nu/509n
  Replies (10) Good night (5263) Bad night (1161)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.

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  (713): I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume. http://tfl.nu/yxor
  Replies (6) Good night (3155) Bad night (850)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend

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  (910): I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend http://tfl.nu/p2pa
  Replies (13) Good night (1059) Bad night (466)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...

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  (704): He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was... http://tfl.nu/35ga
  Replies (3) Good night (867) Bad night (595)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.

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  (904): Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/2f4k
  Replies (3) Good night (782) Bad night (304)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward

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  (660): hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv? (816): yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward http://tfl.nu/dn5c
  Replies (12) Good night (1368) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.

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  (936): Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/74hm
  Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it

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  (832): I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it http://tfl.nu/3xki
  Replies (3) Good night (344) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!

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  (615): By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know! (1-615): Who is this? Did we just become best friends?! http://tfl.nu/l3le
  Replies (5) Good night (824) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after

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  (602): I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after http://tfl.nu/x9h9
  Replies (0) Good night (404) Bad night (260)

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