Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was

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  (410): Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was http://tfl.nu/b47l
  Replies (14) Good night (603) Bad night (1336)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

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  (913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized http://tfl.nu/gtwy
  Replies (53) Good night (5011) Bad night (940)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life

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  (816): dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life http://tfl.nu/cejd
  Replies (11) Good night (3337) Bad night (767)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.

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  (847): Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport? (1-847): It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok. http://tfl.nu/wou3
  Replies (30) Good night (4744) Bad night (1052)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers

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  (416): He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers http://tfl.nu/ldwb
  Replies (15) Good night (4830) Bad night (1340)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.

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  (813): I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit. http://tfl.nu/1d92
  Replies (13) Good night (2734) Bad night (1322)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal

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  (410): So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal http://tfl.nu/8nnp
  Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (1880)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town

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  (443): Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town http://tfl.nu/3b43
  Replies (1) Good night (2072) Bad night (620)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized

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  (847): Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized http://tfl.nu/hh8z
  Replies (16) Good night (2576) Bad night (557)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"

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  (859): in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick" http://tfl.nu/v34k
  Replies (18) Good night (4749) Bad night (946)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth

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  (303): You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller (1-303): I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth http://tfl.nu/tary
  Replies (10) Good night (985) Bad night (2221)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.

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  (229): He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb. http://tfl.nu/1qwr
  Replies (5) Good night (1972) Bad night (593)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.

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  (228): Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size. http://tfl.nu/ooxc
  Replies (7) Good night (1587) Bad night (656)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.

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  (518): Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk. http://tfl.nu/lrcf
  Replies (4) Good night (1053) Bad night (490)
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  (463): View more from

  I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.

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  (463): I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file. http://tfl.nu/era2
  Replies (8) Good night (605) Bad night (297)

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