Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"

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  (253): i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis" http://tfl.nu/kjwy
  Replies (12) Good night (7076) Bad night (839)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?

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  (732): I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!? http://tfl.nu/ocr3
  Replies (69) Good night (1849) Bad night (9903)
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  (518): View more from New York

  wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision

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  (518): wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision http://tfl.nu/37aw
  Replies (11) Good night (5884) Bad night (551)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.

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  (615): I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower. http://tfl.nu/v1s4
  Replies (33) Good night (5429) Bad night (1056)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.

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  (403): Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it. http://tfl.nu/6k4w
  Replies (18) Good night (5016) Bad night (1334)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.

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  (937): This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/352a
  Replies (25) Good night (1205) Bad night (5167)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista

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  (312): I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista http://tfl.nu/d26q
  Replies (27) Good night (4432) Bad night (1320)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately

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  (716): I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately http://tfl.nu/htr3
  Replies (3) Good night (2463) Bad night (820)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.

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  (306): I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious. http://tfl.nu/psu6
  Replies (3) Good night (1161) Bad night (652)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I can feel my liver begging me to stop.

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  (479): I can feel my liver begging me to stop. http://tfl.nu/j2ah
  Replies (2) Good night (914) Bad night (566)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night

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  (440): no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night http://tfl.nu/ig4q
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (737)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.

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  (480): All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/6kun
  Replies (7) Good night (452) Bad night (986)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST

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  (416): GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST http://tfl.nu/2bqp
  Replies (8) Good night (513) Bad night (325)
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  (212): View more from New York

  No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.

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  (212): No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home. http://tfl.nu/seek
  Replies (7) Good night (2039) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.

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  (212): He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway. http://tfl.nu/5gaf
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (177)

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