Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.

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(503): bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it. http://tfl.nu/wqus

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(816): View more from Missouri

I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.

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(816): I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear. http://tfl.nu/e1lf

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(732): View more from New Jersey

yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it

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(732): yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it http://tfl.nu/reim

Replies (29) Good night (6865) Bad night (1307)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night

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(609): id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night http://tfl.nu/kxc6

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(256): View more from Alabama

You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.

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(256): You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers. http://tfl.nu/otyu

Replies (10) Good night (7227) Bad night (1416)
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(269): View more from Michigan

My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.

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(269): My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow. http://tfl.nu/11lx

Replies (12) Good night (3887) Bad night (1298)
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(707): View more from California

Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....

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(707): Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me..... http://tfl.nu/ajao

Replies (11) Good night (3456) Bad night (1358)
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(614): View more from Ohio

How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?

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(614): How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville? http://tfl.nu/xd34

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(559): View more from California

I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.

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(559): I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me. http://tfl.nu/s6gx

Replies (25) Good night (1311) Bad night (3098)
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(607): View more from New York

You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick

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(607): You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick http://tfl.nu/kpxh

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(917): View more from New York City

Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?

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(917): Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now? http://tfl.nu/50ap

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.

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(617): We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over. http://tfl.nu/57ta

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

Why did you want to do any of that?

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.

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(814): He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away. (1-814): Why did you want to do any of that? (814): If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them. http://tfl.nu/bo9q

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(616): View more from Michigan

My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?

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(616): My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right? http://tfl.nu/u00i

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(614): View more from Ohio

A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.

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(614): A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away. http://tfl.nu/tggc

Replies (5) Good night (262) Bad night (454)

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