Sry I called you an 8
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
