Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
