i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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