are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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