Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
