I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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