remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
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