I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize