she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
